You’ve found yourself in a life-destroying, logic-defying, stress-inducing bureaucratic nightmare? Well, congratulations! You now have the unique opportunity to test how much psychological torment one human can endure before they snap like a breadstick at an all-you-can-eat pasta night. Lucky you!
But don’t worry; there is a perfect way to handle this situation. It’s simple. Just take a deep breath, smile, and behave like a zen master who has never considered throwing their phone at a wall or screaming into the abyss. The world loves a good tragedy—but only if you endure it with quiet dignity. Congratulations! If you flinch under pressure, you are now officially "unhinged."
Now, if you’re a true beacon of grace, you’ll do what all enlightened beings do in these situations: nothing. You’ll sit there, calmly accepting every injustice, nodding along as professionals with fancy titles gaslight you into oblivion. Maybe they’ll tell you that the thing you just experienced never happened! What a fun twist! You might even wonder if you’ve been trapped inside one long episode of Black Mirror, but no, this is just your life now.
And for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, do not take to social media. Because that’s what crazy people do! Never mind that your entire reality is being rewritten by people who weren’t there, never mind that the whole system is rigged against you—just shut up and suffer in silence like a proper, respectable victim. If you break even once and post so much as a mildly unhinged Facebook status, boom, there goes your credibility. I should’ve stuck to vague inspirational quotes and pretended everything was fine! Rookie mistake.
But let’s be honest. We are not perfect people, are we? No, we are regular human beings with feelings, and when the walls close in, you will react the way any normal person would: with pure, unfiltered chaos. Oh, you panicked? Did you react? Did you dare to get emotional while having your entire life ripped apart? Well, welcome to the "Crazy" Club, my friend! Membership is mandatory; the only requirement is being a person with a functioning nervous system.
Of course, the world will judge you for this. “Oh, look at them, so erratic! So unwell! Posting on social media? Unstable.” Ah, yes. Nothing says "mental instability" quite like refusing to quietly let your life be burned to the ground. But sure, Karen, go ahead and tell me how you would have handled it better while sipping your oat milk latte in blissful ignorance.
Nobody knows how they’d react in a situation like this until they live it. And guess what? Most people would lose their minds. The difference is that you just happened to do it where people could see. Oops. That’s on you, buddy. Next time, try having your breakdown in the privacy of a soundproof bunker like a respectable person.
So, here’s the takeaway: the world only approves of your suffering if you package it neatly and quietly. If you refuse to play the role of the stoic, noble victim? Well, now you’re just making everyone uncomfortable. And nothing terrifies people more than visible pain. But hey, at least you’ll have a great story to tell—if anyone ever bothers to listen.
By Antonio Merrick
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