Unjustified Hate: The Exhaustion of Loving Those Who Despise You

Introduction: A Question That Won’t Let Me Go

I have lived a life guided by faith, principle, and an unwavering belief in the goodness of humanity. For most of my life, that belief remained unshaken—until I came face-to-face with a force I could not comprehend: unjustified hate.

Hate without cause. Hate without logic. Hate that operates in the shadows, distorting truth, dismantling reputations, and wielding power with no accountability. I never experienced this kind of hatred from strangers or casual acquaintances. It came from two sources: my ex-in-laws and a government agency. In both cases, I have been subjected to a campaign of character assassination, lies, manipulation, and outright cruelty.

But the real question is: why? What is the end goal of this hatred? Is it power? Control? Revenge? And how did we arrive at a place where good people are ruled by the whims of those who thrive on destruction?

I know I am vulnerable—I always have been—not because of weakness but because of faith. I believe in love, justice, and redemption. That belief makes me an easy target in a world where hate is rewarded and goodness is exploited.

But here’s what I refuse to accept: that this hatred is justified, inevitable, or must be tolerated.

This is my reckoning. This is my fight to understand, expose, and dismantle the institutionalized, irrational, and deliberate hatred that is poisoning our world.

The Politics of Personal Hatred: My Ex-Father-in-Law’s War Against Me

I will never forget the moment I realized that my ex-father-in-law hated me—not for what I had done, but for what I represented.

I was a Black Republican, a conservative, a political activist, and a man who refused to conform to society's expectations of me. And for that, he despised me. It wasn’t because I was a bad husband. It wasn’t because I was a bad father. It wasn’t even because I had done anything wrong. He hated me because my existence challenged his worldview.

"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." — Voltaire

He grew up despising white people. He despised Republicans. I was the enemy to him—not because of my character but because of my ideology. If I had been a Democrat, he might have embraced me. If I had run for office as a Democrat, maybe he would have approved of my marriage. Maybe he would have been involved in our lives. Maybe he would have been present when his daughter was dying of cancer. Maybe we would have caught the cancer sooner. Maybe she would still be alive today. Maybe my daughters would still have their mother. I have spent years trying to forgive him, but the truth is unbearable. His hate had consequences. It wasn’t just words. It was a choice that left permanent scars.

This realization led me to a darker question: if personal hatred could be so destructive, what happens when that same level of irrational hate is institutionalized?

Institutional Hatred: When the State Becomes the Enemy

I am no longer dealing with a single man’s prejudice. Now, I am fighting a government agency that operates with the same venomous hate as my ex-father-in-law. But this time, it’s worse. Because the state has power. The power to destroy lives, fabricate evidence, bend the law, and manipulate reality itself. The agency that has targeted me has done everything in its power to break me:

• They have lied.

• They have fabricated records.

• They have destroyed evidence.

• They have twisted the law to serve their agenda.

Not because they are seeking justice. Not because they are protecting anyone. But because they can.

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." — Lord Acton

This is not incompetence. This is intentional. It is a deliberate weaponization of hate. They have no reason to hate me. There is no logical justification for what they are doing. And yet, they continue, with no regard for facts, law, morality, or conscience. Because their hate is not about me. It is about power.

The Exhaustion of Loving Those Who Hate You

Hatred is easy. Love is hard. Loving those who actively seek to destroy you is one of the greatest burdens a person can carry. I have spent years trying to hold onto my faith—trying to love my enemies, even as they lie about me, manipulate my children, and strip me of my rights. But here is the truth: I am exhausted.

"Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil." — Niccolò Machiavelli

To be hated for doing good is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure.

I used to believe that truth would set me free, that if I could just present the facts, the lies would crumble, and that justice would prevail. I no longer believe that. Because truth does not matter to people who have chosen hate.

"The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose." — James Baldwin

I am beginning to realize that I have nothing left to lose. They have taken my children, attacked my character, and drained my resources, but they have not taken my faith, my conviction, or my ability to fight back. So, I will continue to stand, fight, and love—not because I am naive or because I expect them to change. But, at the end of the day, I refuse to let their hate define me.

Final Thought: The Triumph of Truth

Hate is exhausting. But so is love. The only difference is one leaves you hollow, and the other makes you whole. So I choose to love, not because it is easy but because it is the only path to peace. Even if it exhausts me. Even if it breaks me. Even if I must carry this burden alone. Because in the end, the weight of truth will always be lighter than the chains of hate.

By Antonio Merrick